Confessions: Nurturing Love (육성 사랑)

Real life is a bit**… it really is sometimes. We all go through sh** over and over throughout the duration of our lives. But, there may be some hope or a companion who will be there for thick or thin, to ride with you along the way.

Finding love, maintaining love, and nurturing love is not as easy as rocket science. It is a difficult and tedious task that we inevitably succumb to once we meet the one person who we really can’t live without.

Being in a ldr(long distance relationship) I find nurturing love to be quite difficult.

It is not that I can’t nurture my relationship with my boyfriend. We make time daily for each other. In a sense we stay digitally connected around the clock. Even so I learned recently that frequent contact isn’t as nurturing as some might think.

Lately, I’ve come to realize that the nurture part is more than the usual text message or video chat that me and my boyfriend engage in. It’s more than the promises we have to see one another or our planned dreams of getting married and having children. It’s more than just being verbal. Nurturing is showing that you care for your significant other in small almost invisible ways.

Since we crossed our 5-month dating mark last year  I started writing love letters to my boyfriend. Some might think its odd, but in order to fully convey how much I adored my man I felt a strong urge to convey my love in a simple way. To this day I’ve written over 2-dozen letters to my boyfriend. Each one is unique in its own way. These letters express how much I care about my boyfriend, but also acknowledge how much we’ve gained from one another.

In relationships, both individuals grow and mature by nurturing one another. Whether, it’s helping each other with the dishes, the laundry, or even the dinner bill – couples work together and grow through one another. The same goes for me and my man.

(Picture below: Jongro-gil in Seoul next to YBM Building, Winter 2014)

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While I was still living in Korea, my boyfriend nurtured our love in simple ways. Not through love letters as well, but also through actions. He nurtured our relationship by taking me out on special dates. These dates were special because they were simple. He would take me out on walking dates throughout Seoul, on midnight movie dates, on noraebang ( 노래방) dates, and jjimjilbang (찜질방) dates.

I call these dates simple because these dates  allowed us to focus on us & enjoy simple pleasures like walking, or singing together. These simple dates meant more than words could express. During those dates I felt not only loved but appreciated.

Living apart now, with a 13-14 hour time difference our ways of nurturing have changed.  My boyfriend nurtures our relationship by writing letters to me in English.  Being a non-native English speaker he’s shown me how much he loves me by expressing himself in a new language. Having never once asked him to try I am deeply moved by it.

Vice-versa I continue to nurture our relationship by expressing my love in new ways and forms. Branching away from love letters this year I’ve taken up drawing sketches of us together. These sketches are based off of places me and my boyfriend have visited. Remembering our time together in new ways I hope will mean a lot to him.

Finding a new way to nurture my relationship was not as easy as it might seem. Just like maintaining a relationship nurturing does not come easily, and is an effort that goes both ways. In order to help nurture your relationship (whether you are in a ldr or cdr: close distance relationship) you must express yourself in a way that not only gets your feelings across, but resonates with your partner. Additionally, your partner must appreciate all that you do for them on their own.

Feeling appreciated and showing appreciation is the ultimate goal in nurturing your relationship. Through mutual appreciation and care your relationship will strengthen even further.  As a couple, you will continue grow, mature, and express yourselves more, furthering your love.

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(Pictured above:  Me and my boyfriend making footprints at the beach in Busan, Korea, 2016)

 

 

 

*Note: All  pictures posted are owned by the Yeppunshikan author, usage of these pictures without the owners consent is strictly prohibited.
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7 Comments Add yours

  1. About to be in long distance relationship with my Dutch national boyfriend of 7 months and very nervous! Any tips?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yeppunshikan says:

      Hello Hannah,

      First, thank you for the comment. I like your blog a lot, very good insight and lots of love I see for your BF. I will definitely check out your blog some more.

      For reference, I was in a semi LDR late last year (a few months) and a longer LDR this year since February. The best advice I can give you is really taking a step back & imagining what you want to do with your life and how you plan to make your LDR BF fit. As you enter an LDR you should focus on future dates to see one another, but you also need to focus on what you would like to do with your life.

      Basically, a life project really. Whatever you decide or plan on working on make sure your BF is well informed, supportive, and involved (if able). This is also true vice-versa. Me and my BF have been working on our own career growth since our LDR started, but also already have a planned end date to be together again.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you very much!!! ( for the advice and the compliment 🙂 ) he is Canada at the moment but heading back in September so I will hopefully plan a trip to Holland to see him and scrape up the money to Do so. I really do love him and want a future but distance will definitely give me some perspective and let me see what its like having him gone (though I imagine it will be very very difficult). I just graduated and have been applying to jobs with no results so far so I have a lot of freedom to figure things out right now (a blessing and a curse.) where are you and your BF living? And what careers do you have?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. yeppunshikan says:

    I can imagine, after college and grad school I spent some time looking for work as well. You will find something and I hope you like it!

    Also, sounds like you and your BF are already working on future planning, which is positive thinking before entering a LDR. One last tip is to try to remain optimistic, however, know that you can have days when you might feel bummed out about your relationship. During those times try to pick yourself up in anyway small or large. LDR couples make some of the strongest couples out there. I believe this, and support the success of all LDRs.

    Oh, as for me and my BF, we both have career experience in the education field. I am continuing this now back in the states, and my BF is transitioning now into business work. Thanks for asking. Hoping for the best for us both.

    Like

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