26, 28, 29? Surprisingly nearly ten years ago me and my old JCC crew(*a college club I was in) discussed what ages we all would have liked to meet someone, tie the knot, and start a family.
Who knew the majority of us would still be carrying these dreams almost ten years later. As I find humor in this newfound knowledge, while catching up with a longtime friend over lunch, I also find more insight from it. I found insight knowing that I was not alone. What I mean by not alone is that we(me and my closest friends) had many dreams for our twenties. Dreams that we still have even now.
As a young woman I know that time is very important. Time is important in our careers, time is important for meeting the right person, and time is important for starting a family. However, time can not be grasped nor predicted. Time can not be predetermined. As kids time holds little meaning when one is enjoying the present moment. As adults time can not come too soon when planning out life moments. Remarkably, we adults know this, however, often times we fail to see that time is uncontrollable.
While catching up with a close friend and talking about our ideals of marriage, boys, and kids we quickly laughed at how much progress we have made since we entered into our twenties. We laughed at how much more mature we have become, and if we were ready for marriage at our current age. I can not say anything for my friend, but I know that marriage preparation is something couples plan for almost one year in advance – at least this is something that I’ve openly discussed with my significant other.
My friend and I discussed many former dreams, not only when to tie the knot, but with whom to do so. Since college many of my closest friends have moved around to new/different states either to live with their significant others or for career purposes. Focusing on significant others, I talked with my friend during our lunch hour about our significant others(*since we both have never met each other’s recent BFs). Our discussion about men/boys majorly focused on moving onto the next level in our relationships. However, we openly talked with one another about whether we felt that we have each found Mr. Right. I could tell from my friend’s demeanor and concern for her BF that he must be someone very special to her. In this instance I can say that she and another close friend of ours might be inching closer to their own weddings sometime soon.
Almost simultaneously whenever marriage is mentioned kids down road are not far. This is another discussion that I’ve had openly with my significant other and just recently with my friends. While the thought has not escaped me whenever marriage comes to mind – it has been a side thought for me. Actually, unlike most of my friends I dreamed about marriage, boys, and adopting kids when I was younger. I thought that I might be financially stable enough to adopt a child in my twenties, married or unmarried. However, as time would tell this did not take place. As for the dream of adopting, it has slowly faded away.
Having kids as stated is certainly something I would like down the road. But, having my own is a recent thought. I guess I never fully thought about wanting to start a family with someone special to me and vice-versa meeting someone who would like to have a family with me down the road. I am glad that I can say I do have someone who shares the same dream as me. Additionally, I am happy to see that some of my closest friends have found or are still with significant others themselves who I believe share the same if not similar dreams with my friends on their future.
It’s funny how me and my close friend ended our long discussion by taking bets on who might move onto the next stage and tie the knot first. For us both this year for marriage has been eliminated. But, we will have to wait and see whose got dibs on next year!（＾∀＾）