Dating Abroad (국제 데이팅):The Good, Bad, and Fierce Reality – Part 2

Dating abroad can be complicated. It can be good, bad, or fierce…

If you have read my previous post about Dating Abroad (국제 데이팅) Insights and Personal Experience – Part 1 I hope that you find Part 2 insightful.

Dating in general can be good, bad, or fierce, however, dating internationally as well as across cultures is an entirely different experience. While there are many awarding and fulfilling reasons to enter into such a relationship there are also many negative and tough realities in maintaining an international relationship and overcoming foreseen and unforeseen hurdles.

In my previous blog I touched on some realities I personally experienced while dating an ex during one of my sojourner years in Korea. The experience for me shed light on the realities of dating internationally. It was a life lesson that I am glad to have experienced. I hope that my story will also provide some form of realism of dating abroad.

ku campus 2013 winter.jpg
KU Campus Winter 2013/2014

In my continuation of providing advice I have written my own list of 10 good, 10 bad, and 10 fierce advantages/disadvantages of dating abroad.  The list below is based on my own views on dating abroad with some insight from my current relationship and feedback from close international friends.

Advantages of Dating Abroad

THE GOOD

  • New life changing experience for you and your BF/GF
  • Learning about your BF/GF’s culture, language, traditions
  • Exchanging and sharing cultures, language, traditions
  • Exchanging diverse cultural interests, hobbies, and ideas/viewpoints
  • Having a ever-learning/growing relationship
  • Being in a unique relationship based on no racial, ethnic, religious, sexual orientation, national, or continental boundaries
    • having a relationship that is defined by love
  • Loving outside of traditional norms & standards
    • having a relationship different then those around you
  • Learning how to live with less & appreciate more in your relationship with your BF/GF
  • Enriching one another by complementing one another in different ways
  • Living/breathing/experiencing your own international love story

Disadvantages of Dating Abroad

THE BAD

  • Possibly speaking different mother tongues, leading to lots of miscommunication/ misunderstandings
  • Unfamiliarity with other countries dating culture/ norms
  • Unfamiliarity to your BF/GF’s native culture, language, traditions
  • Unfamiliar with your BF/GF’s diverse cultural interests, hobbies, and ideas/viewpoints
  • Having a ever-learning/ stressful relationship
  • Making larger/ more impacting sacrifices (i.e. in work field, living location, lifestyle, etc.)
    • giving up more than your BF/GF
    • not feeling appreciated for your sacrifices
  • Being viewed as different/ subjected to forms of criticism due to racial, ethnic, religious,sexual orientation,  national, or continental homes
  •  Loving outside of traditional norms & standards
    • unable to compare relationship troubles to many others
  • Sometimes feeling stuck due to non-comprising aspects in your relationship that might affect your current and future life choices
    • making life choices quicker than most couples
  • Looming uncertainty about you & your BF/GF’s future

Reality of Dating Abroad

THE FIERCE

  • Severe miscommunication/ misunderstandings in the relationship
  • Disliking  your BF/GF’s native culture, language, traditions
  • Finding little common ground or similarities in interests,  hobbies, ideas/viewpoints
  • Having a severely stressful relationship
  • Frequent arguments about the future with your BF/GF
    • where to reside, if you want to get married, how to raise future children, family introductions & involvement, compromising on countries to reside in/work/ lifestyles/ family & friends
  •  Breaking up with your BF/GF due to language constraints, family involvement, cultural differences, etc.
  • Being subject to negative criticism and views from family/ outsiders based on race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, nationality
    • feeling judged, looked down upon, or not viewed as equal
  • Dating internationally for just the experience of dating a foreigner, with no strings attached
    • entering into a one-sided/ non-committal international relationship
      • being taken advantaged of in the relationship
  • Sometimes placing the relationship on a fixed time-frame (i.e. 6 months, 1 year)
    • lasting forever is always an open-ended question in the relationship
  • Separating without any warning or explanation
    • You or your BF/GF cuts off all connections and ties

 

 

 

 

 

*Note: All  pictures posted are owned by the Yeppunshikan author, usage of these pictures without the owners consent is strictly prohibited.
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