In continuation of age gap influences in international couples I would like to continue the discussion on what are some age related influences between international couples.
For many international couples with varying age gaps marriage is quite often introduced or discussed during the beginning stages of the relationship. Sticking to the same focus on foreign Asian males and foreign Western females depending upon the age of the male, marriage might be the goal they are pursuing, if they are open to dating seriously outside of their culture.
In a number of Asian countries usually a young man or woman do not leave their family home until they are of marriage age. By marriage age they are actively dating and looking for a long-term partner. However, one striking difference between how Asian men/women of marriage age look for suitors is somewhat influenced by age. Some Asian men of 30+ years old and of marriage age focus on meeting younger women. While some Asian women of 25+ years old and of marriage age focus on meeting older men. The reason for their choices in suitors ages, however, is very different. Compared to the Asian women’s choice in marrying an older suitor, older Asian men prefer to marry suitors much younger. My understanding for this lies in a preferred choice for a younger spouse for Asian men, as well as, the preferred choice for a dependable & successful older spouse for Asian women. This focus in spouses is not too different from Western nation counterparts. However, these focuses are not only sought after. In Western nations, especially North America, marriage age is not limited or confined to the 20s or early 30s. In the U.S., Canada, and possibly Mexico couples are not bound by marriages age blocks, and can feel less pressured to decide on marriage until their mid 30s, 40s, or 50s(*for a few like Janet Jackson!).
In a growing number of Western nations marrying age is viewed for more than the traditional idea of starting a family, which still strongly influences what is considered appropriate marriage age for many women around the world. Over the past few decades marriage beyond age in countries such as the U.S. has led to marriages focused more on couples, on companionship, on commitments, on better livelihoods, on personal & financial security, etc. Finding a partner who shares the same marriage focus is important for any marriage. For international couples this remains true as well.
Depending on the background of both individuals(*within an international couple) and their retrospective ages marrying age may or may not be viewed the same. In the case of equal view on marriage age the international couple may share same ideas on marriage focuses (i.e. child bearing, companionship, financial security, etc.). In this case the international couples relationship will continue to grow. However, if marrying age is not viewed the same between the individuals(* within an international couple) then there may be some uncertainties going forward for the couple.
In the case of marrying age between international couples not matching then the transition of the relationship in terms of progressing to the next stage may be placed on hold. For these international couples differences in marrying age is not the biggest hurdle, but rather differences in traditional and modern focuses at the time. As mentioned in my previous post Age Gaps in International Couples (국제커플의 에이지 갭), ambitions, (present) focuses, along with cultural expectations may not be aligned between these international couples. Due to this is important for international couples, and either man or woman, to each decide individually and early on in the relationship whether or not a future between the couple will match.
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